Life's Like That...!!!

HE will keep testing you from time to time and you will see lots of UP's and DOWN's......try to never give up, you will definitely succeed in HIS test.....

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Life! Love! Chaos! Death! But...


Our days are numbered
And so is this love,
But the blues,
Like longing,
They stay.
Will I stop dying,
                      - Mona



Our days maybe numbered,
But not the love.
In the eternity of lifetime.
It's all upon us,
How we choose it to spread.

The blues,

They make us better,
For whatever is coming next.

Just take one day at a time,

Savor every moment;
Until death comes,
When we just mock it on it's face,
As it failed to make us miserable,
For every single day we lived and loved.


Story of the above lines is that I woke up today with some lines sent to me by a friend. I ended up responding to her on similar lines. The conversation was interesting, so just felt like sharing a small snippet of it here.

Anyway, it's good to scribble down whatever is there in our mind. Remember the Pensieve which Dumbledore used to use in Harry Potter? Writing just works exactly like that. And it's really helpful to lighten the mind and keep oneself away from all such noise as we already have too much to take care of in our day-to-day life, don't we? Well, we can't literally get-rid of thoughts of events from our past but at-least we can learn from it. In the end, it all boils down to how we perceive the situations in our day-to-day life and how with the help of that we end up finding our purpose. As Austrian Psychologist, Wilhelm Stekel said:

"The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one."

So, "finding the purpose and living by it" is the key. But it ain't easy.
1) How we work upon finding our purpose?
2) How we act when we don't find the purpose or have that feeling that we're lost and have no purpose in life?

These 2 questions defines many things in life. At any given point of time, we must be prepared to give 100% to our purpose, fulfill our karma or dissolve it, and then let go of that specific form of living. However, there will be phases when we won't know our purpose and probably be confused to hell. At that moment, we must be capable of not knowing what to do with our life, entering a period of not knowing and waiting for a vision or a new form of purpose to emerge. These cycles of strong specific action followed by periods of not knowing what the hell is going on are natural for everyone. The only key here is not to panic during the phase when we're not clear.

However, the toughest dilemma in our life comes when too many situations, on a personal and/or professional level, suddenly start to hit us from all directions. Believe me, till 1.5 years back, I had a relatively chaotic personal and professional life. To add to the misery, I had no idea how to handle it. But then I realized, the things for which I'm bothered about are not worthy of the time I'm giving them. Since then I choose whatever in life is worth bothering about, by asking these questions: Can I resolve the problem by giving some time and/or money of mine over next few days or months? Is the problem worth spending the resources I'm about to spend? If yes, then I add that task as "To Do" in my list along-with a mental note of upper limit for the amount of resources that I'm willing to spend. If no, then I remove that thought from my mind (and task from my life) because I anyway can't resolve it even by giving my time and money to the problem. Since then, the life is so much amazing, positive and fulfilling. Oh, just beware of the fact that sometimes, the "PROBLEM" can be "PEOPLE" too. No matter how close we are to them, we need to learn how to maintain distance from them.

To add to what I just said in the above paragraphs, last week when I started reading this book, "The Subtle Art of not giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson, I was surprised to read what I've already been implementing in my life from the past one year. I know that sometimes situations/people are so important that we need to give a f*ck about them. What to do in those times? Like, if our parents are involved in some situation and we don't know how to bail out from the situation because it's expected that we help them out, right? So what do we do? We simply get ourselves involved and ask above questions by putting ourselves completely in their shoes. See if we find the answer as "yes or no".  If answer is "no", then tell them why it can't be done with proper reasoning. It might be tough to explain to them, but that's something we all have to handle.

Well, just to be practical, the above logic won't always work because we're humans at the end of day and our mind is capable to generate millions of thoughts at any given time. But don't forget, our mind is also capable of handling those millions of thoughts also. Maybe we need to start with just the questions, followed by calming ourselves when we feel anxiety because things ain't in our control. It eventually comes to us. It really does, because when we start asking questions, we as well start answering them. That's when we realize that we've smartly drifted our mind away from anxiety and have already started working on a solution. Voila..!!

Have a great life ahead..!!

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Book Review: The Catcher in the Rye - J.D.Salinger

If you're a youngster or crossed the age, then you might know that state of confusion we all go through atleast once in our life. The state of pointlessness, void, emptyness, meaninglessness, lost purpose... all are just ways to describe the same thing. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger is the similar first person account of a 16-year old bi-polar teenage boy, Holden Caulfield who is going through the same phase of uncertainity in his life.

Every single emotion during his encounter with his roommates in hostel, teachers, fellow travellers, sister is presented in such a clear way without holding back any single thought, literally. This makes the book even more beautiful. Every single thought, dirty or innocent or wicked, has been written down. Doesn't matter how much we think that we need to be decent in the public, such thoughts do come to us once in a while. The cherry on the cake was the part where the author has given a true-touch of local dialect which was decently common in US during 50's.

As per the story, the kid is really bad in studies and is facing a threat of getting kicked out of school (again). After a fight with his roommate, he evades the hostel and goes rogue for 2 days in the city. His encounter with all kinds of people and his thoughts of being scared/happy/angry is too damn perfect.

The book is a perfect depiction of a complex teenage mind which is generally considered hard to understand even by the experts of the field. If you're traveling or want to read something beautiful and light, then this is something I'd highly recommend.

PS: I had this book for over an year now, but never picked it up. Not sure what triggered me last week to finally start reading it. Believe me when I say that "this is unlike anything I've ever read and no doubt that this is one of the best books I've ever read."

Life a.k.a. A state of dilemma

Disclaimer: This post is result of some of new events and stream of thoughts which flooded me over the last week. Proceed at your own risk. I just started writing it because I wanted to unload the thoughts from my mind.
Scenario#1: Sometimes life doesn’t give you with any options and you end up being confused upon what to do? Sometimes you think: Why do some people are so lucky? Why do they keep on getting the opportunities they get? Why don’t you get those opportunities? Why is it that some people get the opportunities, even if they don’t deserve on such a frequent basis and you don’t get them at all? There are millions of such questions which keep on coming to your mind. Because even if you try, you are not able to make any progress.

Scenario #2: Then there are phases when you end up getting opportunities to work on. Loads and loads of them will come.The winds will be so much pleasant that you’ll be able to try each and every thing that’s coming to your plate. Those will your days boy… your days. Literally.
Scenario #3: I like to call this as “Active-Passive”, where kind-of have something, but still don’t have it. It’s something like “You don’t want to try on something new because you have got a breakthrough which, according to you, will lead you to some place (obviously the world might think different, so better don’t discuss it with anyone until you’re certain) and you’re working on it. Or maybe you’ve decided what you want to try and take it slow, like one day at a time, because you’re life is sort of coming back on track.
I just wish, life would have been that straight forward. Because there are times when above scenarios start coming up in a mixed manner. It’s like the strong stormy wind which you face when you step out of your house in a cyclone, but you can’t stay inside as it was too dark and claustrophobic. Well, that’s another state of unanswered but mind boggling situation that we face most of the times. Eventually that’s when we get ourselves messed up in and feel stuck.
Anyway, I’m an IT engineer who somehow has not yet stopped dreaming and has not given up on his dreams(YET). Obviously, I’m in a job, where I’m earning decently (and handsomely, as per many people around me), so I’ve nothing to worry about(again as per what most of them think around me and about me). In a way, they are right. But as I told, I’ve not given up on my dreams, yet.
Okay, so enough of vague talks. Let me be clear, I was in a weird state of mind. Till few months back I was in scenario #1 for a decent amount of time. But then things started falling in place. Believe me, that happened all of a sudden and it was a big relief, as it was a clear transition from #1 to #2. But since then, I started taking it slow as I partially but forcefully shifted myself into #3 (because remember that dream thingy :P ). I’ve been working on few things from past 3 months. Things were looking good. I planned things over the period so that I can make a great stride in the coming future (or at least I have a feel that I can do it). However, last week out of the blue, #2 popped up (yet again). Obviously I got confused and wasn’t sure what to do. Things went on for few days. Initially I panicked a bit, as this new surprise was a hindering my long term plans that I had made. I knew somewhere that I had to focus on my long term plan. But this new candy thrown in front of me was too tempting to be returned or to be dumped into the bin. It was a big gamble for me to go to either way.
Well, I thought for sometime (as in 2 days) on how to proceed and took the opinion of a wise man of the related field (whom I know can provide an unbiased opinion). I had to evaluate between the options of grabbing the opportunity and as a result of which, it was highly likely that I’ll have to quit on current plans which I’ve been executing for 3 months now; and the option of leaving this one and keep continuing with what I was doing. Both had it’s advantages and disadvantages. It was a weird decision to make. But then voila..!! Finally I had an idea.. (I know it was just an idea, but it was something to relax the messed up state of mind). What if I neither throw this new candy into the bin nor consume it right away? What if I strategically place it in the right place in the planned events over the upcoming months? What I realized that like dinner every other night, what if I just postponed the consumption of the desert up until I’m done with the main course and not jump on desert immediately after the starters? After lot of brainstorming, I decided to take on the gambit. Well, since then, it is again really peaceful and I’m sort-of back on track. Phewww..!!
Lesson learnt: Sometimes there is a middle road which might not be obvious but give yourself some time and you’ll eventually get to it.

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