Life a.k.a. A state of dilemma
Disclaimer: This post is result of some of new events and stream of thoughts which flooded me over the last week. Proceed at your own risk. I just started writing it because I wanted to unload the thoughts from my mind.
Scenario#1: Sometimes life doesn’t give you with any options and you end up being confused upon what to do? Sometimes you think: Why do some people are so lucky? Why do they keep on getting the opportunities they get? Why don’t you get those opportunities? Why is it that some people get the opportunities, even if they don’t deserve on such a frequent basis and you don’t get them at all? There are millions of such questions which keep on coming to your mind. Because even if you try, you are not able to make any progress.
Scenario #2: Then there are phases when you end up getting opportunities to work on. Loads and loads of them will come.The winds will be so much pleasant that you’ll be able to try each and every thing that’s coming to your plate. Those will your days boy… your days. Literally.
Scenario #3: I like to call this as “Active-Passive”, where kind-of have something, but still don’t have it. It’s something like “You don’t want to try on something new because you have got a breakthrough which, according to you, will lead you to some place (obviously the world might think different, so better don’t discuss it with anyone until you’re certain) and you’re working on it. Or maybe you’ve decided what you want to try and take it slow, like one day at a time, because you’re life is sort of coming back on track.
I just wish, life would have been that straight forward. Because there are times when above scenarios start coming up in a mixed manner. It’s like the strong stormy wind which you face when you step out of your house in a cyclone, but you can’t stay inside as it was too dark and claustrophobic. Well, that’s another state of unanswered but mind boggling situation that we face most of the times. Eventually that’s when we get ourselves messed up in and feel stuck.
Anyway, I’m an IT engineer who somehow has not yet stopped dreaming and has not given up on his dreams(YET). Obviously, I’m in a job, where I’m earning decently (and handsomely, as per many people around me), so I’ve nothing to worry about(again as per what most of them think around me and about me). In a way, they are right. But as I told, I’ve not given up on my dreams, yet.
Okay, so enough of vague talks. Let me be clear, I was in a weird state of mind. Till few months back I was in scenario #1 for a decent amount of time. But then things started falling in place. Believe me, that happened all of a sudden and it was a big relief, as it was a clear transition from #1 to #2. But since then, I started taking it slow as I partially but forcefully shifted myself into #3 (because remember that dream thingy :P ). I’ve been working on few things from past 3 months. Things were looking good. I planned things over the period so that I can make a great stride in the coming future (or at least I have a feel that I can do it). However, last week out of the blue, #2 popped up (yet again). Obviously I got confused and wasn’t sure what to do. Things went on for few days. Initially I panicked a bit, as this new surprise was a hindering my long term plans that I had made. I knew somewhere that I had to focus on my long term plan. But this new candy thrown in front of me was too tempting to be returned or to be dumped into the bin. It was a big gamble for me to go to either way.
Well, I thought for sometime (as in 2 days) on how to proceed and took the opinion of a wise man of the related field (whom I know can provide an unbiased opinion). I had to evaluate between the options of grabbing the opportunity and as a result of which, it was highly likely that I’ll have to quit on current plans which I’ve been executing for 3 months now; and the option of leaving this one and keep continuing with what I was doing. Both had it’s advantages and disadvantages. It was a weird decision to make. But then voila..!! Finally I had an idea.. (I know it was just an idea, but it was something to relax the messed up state of mind). What if I neither throw this new candy into the bin nor consume it right away? What if I strategically place it in the right place in the planned events over the upcoming months? What I realized that like dinner every other night, what if I just postponed the consumption of the desert up until I’m done with the main course and not jump on desert immediately after the starters? After lot of brainstorming, I decided to take on the gambit. Well, since then, it is again really peaceful and I’m sort-of back on track. Phewww..!!
Lesson learnt: Sometimes there is a middle road which might not be obvious but give yourself some time and you’ll eventually get to it.