Notes to Myself...!!!

"When I first read Prather's manuscript, it was late at night and I was tired, but by the time I finished it, I felt rested and alive." 

Disclaimer: This post is more of a diary entry and personal account, rather than just any blog post. So proceed at your own risk. Those who're not going forward with the post, just read this one line:

If you're confused with how your life is proceeding, or you have been confused earlier with some similar thoughts and never got the answers, please read "Notes to Myself - Hugh Prather". It will be helpful.

Thanks :)

Few days back I wrote a post about "Quarter Life Crisis". Couple of days later one of my friend called me to meet and but fortunately got late in reaching. I reached early with nothing to do, I was just wandering around the book stalls (that's what I usually do when I'm free) and found this book "Notes to Myself - Hugh Prather". I don't know why, but I purchased the book absent-mindedly and moved to the decided meeting spot to wait for my friend.

It was around 12:30 at night, when I reached back home, fully tired and shivering from cold. (thanks to Bangalore weather).

Next morning I had to go to office, but somehow I started reading it. 

(If you'd have been through post I was referring to in the beginning, then you'd know I was not in a appropriate mindset.)

That night I just read around 10-15 pages and slept(not sure when); but one thing I'm sure is that I was relatively much relaxed. Next morning I woke up relatively chilled out. Few questions answered. For others questions, I knew which direction I had to think in and also above all, I had to read the remaining book.

The book is very much written in the form of axioms. It might be possible that some of you feel that sometimes its just randomly posing some questions or telling some obvious statements in a better way. But many of them are something which we don't notice normally, but involuntarily do it.

I'd like to quote one stanza from the book here: 

"The mistakes I've been making is interpreting a sensation and assigning it a name ("tension", "fear" and "loneliness"). This makes it autonomous, an independent force that influences me. In actuality, feelings tend to follow interpretation and are as varied as thoughts. Whereas a quiet mind takes form as a quiet body."

As a result:  

"I don't feel 'I want'.

I feel 'I lack', and

I decide 'I want'." 

I know I've to read this book again, because I did something recently(involuntarily) and the situation is perfectly described by this instance from the book. I feel my recent act was involuntarily driven by my "then frame of mind".

I just related and grasped many things from this book which at that time were answering my questions or looked like answering them. Now going through it again somehow elaborates why I did what I did.

Well some actions are not reversible, but they are definitely healed with time. How much time, that's no one is sure of it, isn't it? Well, earlier I was very much confused about what's going on with myself. Although I am still confused right now, but I guess I've, relatively, a little more clarity than what I had few weeks back.

PS: If you're going through similar situations in life, I'd recommend you to try this book. If not, or had been through something similar earlier in life, then also read it.